Hello. (audience laughs) I suppose the problem for humanity, (audience laughs) is there’s a lot of
people in here right now and everyone thinks that
they’re the special one, even though all the evidence points towards the fact that it’s me. (audience laughs) We just keep living, so you have to keep coming
up with things to do. So, that’s why you’re all here, so you’ve done something tonight. (audience laughs) ‘Cause tomorrow, people’ll say, “What did you do last night?” And you can say, “I
went to this comedy show “because I live in London,
I’m alive, I’m alive.” (audience laughs) Are you though? (audience laughs) I think, partly, I just can’t believe people are still getting married. People with degrees. What’s going on? (audience laughs) They’ve already lived
together for 10 years, now they have to announce they’re going to carry on as they are? Why do I have to go to Dorset for that? (audience laughs) Have to announce you’re so happy. If you’re so happy, stay
in your house and shush. (audience laughs) Just send an email saying
it’s going very well. Carry on. (audience laughs) What’ll be wrong with this conversation? I love you. I love you, too. Should we have a big event where we tell everyone we know? Seems arrogant. (audience laughs) It’s so smug. You wouldn’t get everyone
you know together to say we’ve made so much money we think it’ll last until death. (audience laughs) I went to see this dance piece. Don’t go and see
something if it’s a piece. (audience laughs) If somebody says to you, “Would you like to come and see my piece?” You have to say, “Oh, I’m so sorry, “I’ve hurt one of my fingers.” (audience laughs) “I’d love to see the piece. “Maybe let me know when
it’s the whole thing.” (audience laughs) In the book of Samuel, and Johnathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Johnathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David. They kissed each other and wept together until
David became great. Unfortunately, at that point, the Bible pans to a shot
of a fireplace but… (audience laughs) I was so terrified at 13
that I might like boys. I remember thinking that it was probably the fear of liking boys that was causing me to like boys. This made sense to me at the time, even though I know people
who are scared of heights, don’t also have an intense
sexual urge to sit on a roof. (audience laughs) How can there still be any homophobia when Elton John wrote the “Lion King?” (audience laughs) What does he have to do? (audience laughs) (upbeat music)

Simon Amstell Shares The Secrets To A Happy Life | Netflix Is A Joke

17 thoughts on “Simon Amstell Shares The Secrets To A Happy Life | Netflix Is A Joke

  • March 15, 2020 at 8:59 pm
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    The secret is another season with Simon of Nevermind the Buzzcocks

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  • March 15, 2020 at 9:34 pm
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    I knew he was British from the thumbnail.

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  • March 15, 2020 at 10:17 pm
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    Best joke he is Elton Jon what he has to do lol watch the whole video to get it!!!!

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  • March 15, 2020 at 11:06 pm
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    Not funny at unfortunately.

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  • March 16, 2020 at 12:11 am
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    He is not my cup of tea as stand-up but his wit and sass works great on nevermind the buzzcocks. Fund more of that please netflix!

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  • March 16, 2020 at 1:12 am
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    sucks so bad

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  • March 16, 2020 at 2:31 am
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    Amstell is a comedic genius. His time as host of NMTB was pure gold!

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  • March 16, 2020 at 2:42 am
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    ‘‘Tis was trash AF

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  • March 16, 2020 at 4:05 am
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    So he mentioned that he’s gay at the end🥴 could of went of the video much earlier.

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  • March 16, 2020 at 5:27 am
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    Unbearable.

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  • March 16, 2020 at 5:59 am
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    He said "Hello" and they laughed. I'm concerned already

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  • March 16, 2020 at 7:40 am
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    I love this dude's intimate speech and storytelling. His comedy isn't gut-busting but goddamn it's so nice to relax as you listen and smile at his wittiness. Highly recommend his comedy special.

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  • March 16, 2020 at 9:01 am
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    Happiness starts with tranquility.

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  • March 16, 2020 at 7:45 pm
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    Thank you, i needed to laugh in this pandamic

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  • March 18, 2020 at 6:35 pm
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    This grandma with died hair is sooo funny

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  • March 18, 2020 at 6:35 pm
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    This suuxxx

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  • March 21, 2020 at 6:16 am
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    This is why Amy W killed herself.

    Reply

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