Would you fuck Kelly Ripa if it had to be
a 3 some with Regis Philbin? Ewww. Thanks to KFC Radio and Barstool Sports for this
awesome card game, Answer the Internet. If you haven’t heard of them before, well I haven’t
until my husband told me about it, they have random celebrities answer these silly questions
and since I’m my own celebrity I thought that it would be fun for me to answer it for you
guys. Let’s open it up. Fun. Wow, that’s a lot of cards. I can see this being really
fun on a drunk night. I’m sober so that’s not fun. Would you rather have a flock of
geese swarm you every time you fart or never use a phone or computer again? I guess have
a flock of geese swarm me every time I fart. I like animals so that’s fun for me. Which
activity takes more physical fitness, golf or porn? Porn, 100%. Those bitches work. Who’s
more dominant, Kenyans in Marathons or Indians in Spelling Bees? Well, that’s a difficult
question. I mean, Indians are like, being smart is their damn thing, and Kenyans, I
mean, I wouldn’t race them. So, I’m going to have to say Indians at Spelling Bees. Would
you rather have A) a 10 inch dick with no balls or B) a 4 inch dick with balls. Hmmmm.
Well, considering I don’t have a dick, I’m not really sure how to answer that, but I
would say a 4 inch dick with balls because I don’t know who could fit a 10 inch dick
in there but that doesn’t sound pleasurable. So yeh, a 4 inch dick with balls. Would you
watch a porn star who had your mom’s name? Who thinks of these questions? Ahhhh, yeh
sure, I guess so. 62% of Barstool readers said no. Ok. Who cares about their name, you’re
watching their pussy. What is your stance on washing your hands after taking a piss?
Well, of course, wash your hands after taking a piss, what are you a damn savage? Well,
I guess guys don’t really was their hands because y’all are savages but us women I’m
sure wash our hands. Can I just say for all of the girls that pop a damn squat over a
toilet and then don’t wipe your nasty fucking pee off, you’re a savage, ok. How about that?
Wipe up after yourselves you savages. Would you rather give up sex or the TV remote for
the rest of your life? TV remote. Who even watches TV anymore. We have YouTube. 78% of
Barstool readers choose the remote. Glad. Would you rather have free strippers for life
or free pizza for life? Definitely free strippers because they could bring me pizza. Would you
rather have Flamingo legs or T-Rex arms? Flamingo legs, long and stick like, or T-Rex arms?
I guess I’d rather have Flamingo legs because how would you wipe your ass with the T-Rex
arms? I don’t know. There’s lots of stuff you can’t do. So, Flamingo legs. Freaks. Let’s
see what the readers said. 85% of Barstool readers choose Flamingo legs. Glad to know
America is not stupid. Would you rather fight a Kangaroo or look like Sam Cassell? No fucking
clue who you are Sam. Bacon or Sausage? Definitely sausage but it has to be split and grilled
like links. I don’t like sausage patties and bacon smells up your house. So, definitely
sausage. 73% of Barstool readers said bacon. Who’s hotter, Ariel or Jasmine? Hmmm. Ariel
has really nice boobs so I don’t know what Jasmine is working with because she’s all
covered up. Ariel is kind of dumb, she’s a little dumb. Jasmine is sassy, and she’s hippy,
and she’s got brown hair, so I’m going to go with Jasmine y’all. Jasmine 100%, sorry
Ariel. A full grown great white vs a full grown polar bear in an Olympic sized swimming
pool that is 7 feet deep and 75 degrees F, who wins? I would say that a Polar Bear has
more leverage. I’m not sure if they could rip through the Great White Sharks skin though.
I’m going to go with the Great White Shark. I think it’s going to rip that blubber apart.
79% of Barstool readers choose the Shark. I’m getting boob sweat. Who has the easier
job, Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny? Duhhh, the Easter Bunny. Chocolate is basically his
game and Santa Claus has Hover Boards, super complex, he’s got all those reindeer to take
care of, he’s got to fly across the world, he’s got to deal with all the letters. Nobody
writes the Easter Bunny letters. So yeh, Easter Bunny. He’s got the easy out. Waffles or Pancakes?
Definitely waffles. You can do more with them. Pancakes are a bit boring. What’s better,
being a cowboy or a pirate? Well, if you like to fuck hookers in the desert, I mean could
you imagine what their vageen smells like, I guess a cowboy but pirates get to be on
the water and they’re adventurous, and they steal freaking gold, and they go place to
place. I’m going to go with Pirate. I always wanted to be a Pirate and their outfits are
way cooler. Sorry Cowboys. What’s better, oral sex or normal sex? Normal sex. Oral sex
is just time consuming I feel like. That’s just not my thing. I just like to get fucked.
K? Would you rather be Magic Johnson with Aids or a regular dude with no Aids? A regular
dude with no Aids. Money can’t buy you happiness and I surely don’t want money with Aids. Some
of these questions are kind of stupid. Would you fuck Kelly Ripa if it had to be a 3 some
with Regis Philbin? Ewww. Ok KFC Radio are these only meant for guys? I feel like these
are all like “hahaha bro funny guy fucking shit man” questions. I would fuck Kelly Ripa
because she’s beautiful but I do not want to see Regis Philbin’s nasty decrepit ball
sack. Could Lebron beat any NHL player in a fight? I don’t know. I don’t know. Maybe.
Maybe not. I don’t know. I don’t know. Are there sacred days when you refuse to masterbait?
Funerals, tragedies, religious holidays, etc. I mean, you’ve got to let your Goose Loose
man so no you need to let your juices flow. I say masterbait everyday. When you’re drunk
is it better to get laid or have the ideal drunk meal? Oh drunk meal for sure that’s
just survival at that point. Sloppy drunk sex isn’t that fun anyway. Do you use lube
when you jerk off? No, because I have a vagina. I don’t need lube. Which NFL team would win,
all white players or all black players? That’s fucked up. Black players 100%. 100%. They’re
faster and stronger. Do you wipe standing or sitting? Sitting, because again, I’m a
fucking chick. What’s better, boneless wings or regular wings? It depends on the day and
where you’re getting them from. I’d say if I was getting boneless wing from KFC, yum
or what’s that place with Zingers, I think that’s Gators. It really depends because some
places have really good wings and some places have really good tenders. I guess it depends
on the day. So I don’t really have a preference. 55% of Barstool readers choose regular. Have
you seen my chicken wing recipe? It’s the bomb. You bake it in the oven and it’s just
delicious. Other video. Are you an asshole if you sit in the back and don’t talk to the
Uber driver? No, it’s professionalism. That is my number 1 thing where I prefer to actually
take a Taxi than take an Uber driver. Uber drivers are fucking weird and they take to
me. I’ve had maybe 5% percent of Uber drivers that I don’t mind talking to. The rest of
them, I don’t want to talk to you. Just take me from A to B. No, no. It’s not fucking rude,
this is your ride boo boo. K? Is sex with conjoined twins a 3 some? Well of course it
is, there’s 3 of you. These people need to come up with some better questions and how
about some funny girl questions, bro. If a guy matches with his best friend’s sister
on Tinder should he pursue it? If a guy matches with his best friend’s sister, I mean yeh,
just talk to him first or be shady as fuck and go behind his back but if you’re a good
best friend then why wouldn’t your best friend be happy for you to be with his sister unless
you’re just going to try to fuck and duck, then don’t do it bro. You’re going to make
things weird. Is it better to watch the super bowl at home or at a bar? I am 33 years old.
I do not like wearing anything constricting past the hour of 2 o clock. So I would like
to lay on my floor and watch the super bowl so at a bar, no. I am not young anymore. So
I’m going to say no. 93% of Barstool readers would rather stay home. I’m in good company.
I hope you had some fun with me on Marissa in the Raw answering those random weird questions
from Barstool Sports, KFC Radio, Answer the Internet. Those were my personal opinions.
If I offended you, go to another channel. If I made you laugh, stick with me. Thanks
for watching. See you guys later. Peace Tubers!